Gay dating rule
“If you think you know the rules, some new app will come along and reinvent the rule book.” Here’s how to play the game now.
Apps such as Tinder have spoiled us for choice and made it OK to be dating multiple people at once.
Just don’t overdo it, and remember that humor and tone don’t always come through in a text.
“[Texting] is a great way to flirt, maybe give them a taste of who you are,” says dating coach Chrisler.
“Someone can have a fantastic date, but when they get an email [from a dating service] with three other matches,” says Maria Avgitidis, dating coach and founder of Agape Match in Midtown, “fear of missing out takes effect.” But it’s important that everyone is up front about dating other people.
“You have to be really clear on what you want,” says Lindsay Chrisler, a professional dating coach based in Hell’s Kitchen. “Everything goes down over text now, especially between millennials,” Manley says.
“A week later, maybe you’d be like, ‘I should reach out.’” Gone are the days when dates had to be an elaborate night out at a buzzy restaurant or club.
Now, watching a few episodes of “Westworld” is considered a hot date. “Even if you don’t have sex while you watch, you can finish a show and have something to talk about.” A survey found that millennials are 270 percent more likely than other generations to be turned on if their match watches the same TV show.
“I have a more masculine energy, so I usually pay on the first date,” she says.
And once people started broaching politics, she says, other taboos, such as keeping past relationships to yourself, began to get ditched too.
“Now we’ve given ourselves permission to talk about these things, so it’s becoming a lot more common for people to [even] talk about their exes,” she says.
“If there’s not an immediate spark, you’re wasting both of your time,” says Manley.
The advice used to be to avoid talk of politics and former relationships on early dates, but now many favor putting it all out there from the beginning.
While some might lament the loss of anonymity, Manley adds that this isn’t always such a bad thing.